Mom guilt

The Mom Guilt O-Meter

Posted on Posted in Merry Moms

Mom guilt, it’s like a disease.  Is your guilt-o-meter making you feel like a bad mom?

When I was given the vision to start Merry Milestones I pushed aside the idea longer than I would like to admit. I told myself it was a very silly idea for someone like me to be an authority on any topics related to mommy-ing given most days I do not feel like a great one. In fact, on more days than not I feel like a bad mom.

These thoughts are typically a collection of things that I have mom guilt around…

Like holding up that “hold on” pointer finger  while I finish off a text to a friend instead of watching my child do their latest stunt.
Or wanting to sit with my coffee in the morning instead of being covered with toddler books and starting a story book marathon first thing in the morning.
Or when I am enjoying some form of entertainment on the iPad and I don’t want to hand it over to my little ones for their ABC mouse time.
Or when I drop my little ones at the daycare gym and spend that extra 10 mins in the sauna after my workout instead of grabbing them up sooner.
Or better yet, when I go to the gym and fake working out just to have the break.
Or how about when we are all driving in the car and that song comes on that I am really feeling, but then my little one thinks this is a great time to interject with one of her really long stories with lots of pauses and I just don’t want to turn the music off.
Or when I put a stop to the world of imagination and discovery when I refuse to let my kids make a fort out of sheets and blankets in the living room because not only do I hate the way it looks in the center of my house, but I also know I’m going to have to take it down myself because they’ll “need help”.
Or when I’m feeling super lazy and do not want to get up to get my five-year-old a snack so I end up spouting off step-by-step instructions on how to take grapes from fridge, grab bowl from dishwasher, grab stool to wash said grapes off in sink, and enjoy.

Even as I write this, my 5 year old little girl is overhearing these words and she has said repeatedly over the last 15 minutes

“my mommy is the best mommy in the whole world”

and I assure you, your little one feels the same way about you, Mom.  Even if they can’t communicate this with words, believe me they feel it.  Embrace their next smile and fall into their next hug as these are small doses of the antidote to cure the mom guilt.
We are not bad moms. We are much harder on ourselves and our internal guilt-o-meter is calibrated to the finest degree. The smallest most insignificant thing will set it off.
So next time your guilt-o-meter starts going off because you’re trying to finish your dinner instead of running to the nursery to change that stinky diaper, know that your mom guilt-o-meter is a false representation of how great you are as a mother. I would even argue that with such a sensitive guilt-o-meter, you are an excellent mother! So drink that cup of coffee, finish your plate of food and take a moment for yourself because you are doing a great job and your little one thinks so too!

15 thoughts on “The Mom Guilt O-Meter

  1. Thank you for this article! I felt like you were speaking directly to me. My Guilt O-Meter is always going off! I think just the fact we have one should be an indication that we are good moms but it still gets me to question the job I am doing as a mom.

  2. Having 4 children under 7 is not always easy! You always feel guilty about something, especialy when you have to ground 1 kid but all the others have to suffer for it too

    1. Wow Stephanie! I can’t imagine is would be easy at any point- unless that is after theyre sleeping lol. Good job momma!

  3. This is what I needed to hear, i have my 5mo in my hip feels like 24/7. When I need just a min to myself he reels me back in woth his oj so heavenly cries.

    1. Valorie, you are doing a great job- sometimes we have to take that moment because it is what is best for not just us, but our baby as well!

  4. Wow this really touches home. I am a mom of 3 kids 4 and under. So often I just want to finish my coffee before all the “Mommy, I want (insert everything). ” I am tired and not physically just mentally. I have so much guilt and worrying that just wears me down in public and at home. I appreciate this post. It feels good to read someone else having the same feelings.

  5. Oh my goodness! This is truly one of the best momguilt articles I’ve read. So absolutely accurate! Mom of four means 4x the guilt, but you’re totally right: We’re not bad moms. Tonight, I’m pouring myself a glass a wine, and taking an extra dose of this momguilt antidote ❤️

  6. this is so real. I always find myself comparing other moms to me and they are so put together.Its truly crazy. but i know I’m a good mom.

  7. I found your article on the Pairings and Parenting fb page. I am CONVINCED this was written for me! Mommy guilt is taking control and you describe it perfectly. Thank you for the great article and for reminding me that I AM a great mom!

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